dancing with shame

Tired of dancing with SHAME?

dancing with shame

Ever feel like you’re dancing an endless waltz with SHAME?

Maybe it is with your eating patterns

Exercise routine

Sleep Cycle

Feeling happy

… and the list goes on.

For me, these days, I feel like I am participating in a dance-a-thon with myself over getting myself organized and productive, and then falling back into the shame filled abyss of procrastination.  I’ll “do really well” and get my days organized and work lined up, and then somedays I feel like I am staring at a sea of post-it notes and “great ideas” but I can’t get myself to sit down and start any of them.  So what do I do?

I flee……

Sound familiar?

I was thinking about this today, and how this waltz applies to any pattern in life, right?

We do “really well” eating healthy and then we eat a pint of ice cream

We get into a great exercise routine and then something happens with our schedule or life and we don’t workout for a week and feel that all is lost…

We wake up saying this is going to be a GREAT day, just to fall sullen because it is raining AGAIN

Following me?

Do you sometimes feel like you are on a seemingly endless dance falling in and out of where you WANT to be, or at least where you THINK you want to be??

I don’t know about you, but I am OVER IT!

I’m over beating myself up about what I did or didn’t do…

I’m over feeling guilty and then trying to nurse the pain with a chocolate bar…

I’m over doubting that I will ever “get it right” and be able to “stick with it”…



Good, then let’s do something about it….

So here’s the part where I am supposed to share brilliant words of wisdom and all the answers, RIGHT?

Well, if I had all the answers, I wouldn’t be writing this post, as I wouldn’t be doing this dance, and trying to figure it all out, RIGHT?


BUT… I believe that we are lead to teach what we need to learn ourselves, so here goes…

We need to get comfortable with living on the edges.

Sure, we all desire to live in the ‘sweet spot’ in the middle where everything is going just as you want it to be, but let’s face it, life happens, and staying in that sweet center isn’t always possible, but this is what is….

Staying comfortable on the edges, staying soft, staying connected to that glowing center and not falling too far outside its orbit.

You see, it is when we throw our hands up in the air and give up, that is when we find ourselves so far outside of our own circle that we doubt how we will ever get back in…

BUT, if we shift our perspective and look at this dance in and out of the center as a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow, well, maybe we’ll start to find some peace.

Maybe, if when we start to feel ourselves falling off the edge, we STOP to remind ourselves about all of the GOOD that IS in that center, AND that it is STILL accessible to us.…

Well, then maybe our edges will begin to soften.

Allow me to illustrate….

As I struggle with procrastination, I can easily find myself in a depressed pit of post-it notes, but the fact is, my business is alive and kicking, and it didn’t get there by chance, I created it, so obviously I’m not a hopeless procrastinating mess.

If I take a moment to LOOK at that sweet center and acknowledge all that I did to create my business, a few things begin to happen:

  • I feel accomplished as I see what I’ve created and maintained.
  • I acknowledge that it is ENTIRELY possible for me to make progress as that is what has GOTTEN  me here in the first place.
  • I recognize that I am capable, caring, and have worked hard to offer my best self to everyone around me.
  • I see that I DID THIS and I can CONTINUE to DO THIS!

Take THAT procrastination!

Same rules apply for whatever you are “dancing” with in your life….

  • Acknowledge what you HAVE done.
  • Recognize that you CAN do it again.
  • Look at all the POSITIVES in that “sweet spot” and inch your way back to them.
  • Get COMFORTABLE dancing on the edges.

So, let’s dance… let’s flip our perspective and embrace the BEAUTY of this waltz.

Shame’s dance card is all filled up.

If this resonates and you want to join one of my health coaching programs, check out my current health coaching group program.  Thank you!


  1. Sarah Zengo

    Jan, this is excellent! As I literally stare at a sea of post-its feeling like I don’t know where to begin my “word” day…which crosses all sorts of time/space boundaries in real life! Great reminder to remember how successful and awesome we are that we made it here already… the to dos can be so daunting (and paper pushing and organizing, re-organizing!). Think-time is not always easily scheduled. LOVE to you.

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